Vows from the Heart: Why AI-Assisted Wedding Writing Still Speaks Your Truth

In the world of weddings, there's a sacred intimacy to personal vows and speeches. When couples struggle to find the perfect words for their perfect day, some turn to AI assistance. And immediately, the traditionalists gasp: "But they're not really your vows if you didn't write every word yourself!"

As a wedding celebrant, I've seen firsthand how this misguided view can add unnecessary stress to what should be a joyful process. Here's why I believe AI-assisted wedding writing can actually enhance authenticity rather than diminish it.

The Expression Isn't the Emotion

What makes wedding vows meaningful isn't the arrangement of words on a page. It's the genuine commitment and love they represent. When we conflate the ability to craft perfect prose with the depth of someone's feelings, we create a false equivalence.

Many people freeze when faced with writing something as important as wedding vows. They know exactly what they feel, but the pressure of expressing those feelings "perfectly" can be paralyzing. The thoughts, promises, and love are there in their hearts. What's missing isn't sincerity but comfort with a form of expression that doesn't come naturally to everyone.

Just because you didn't independently craft every syllable doesn't mean they're not your promises.

Emotional Intelligence ≠ Writing Ability

We've all attended weddings where someone delivers a heartfelt but awkwardly phrased speech, and the audience smiles sympathetically. We accept the sentiment but still unconsciously judge the delivery. This creates an unfair dynamic where eloquence becomes a proxy for emotional depth.

This expectation particularly disadvantages those who may be neurodivergent, speaking in a second language, or simply those who express themselves better verbally than in writing. The ability to write poetically has little correlation with one's capacity for love and commitment.

AI as Translation, Not Replacement

Consider this: If someone translated their vows from Spanish to English, we wouldn't question their authenticity. Similarly, if someone works with AI to translate their scattered thoughts into more structured, eloquent vows, why should we view it differently?

The core ideas, the promises, the personalised anecdotes; these still originate from the couple. AI simply helps package those sentiments into a format that better aligns with the expectations of a ceremonial context.

Guidance for Thoughtful AI Use

Of course, using AI for something as personal as wedding vows requires intention and care:

• Start with your own notes about what you want to express

• Use AI to help organise thoughts or suggest phrasing

• Review the output critically. Does it sound like you? Does it express what you truly mean?

• Personalise the result with details only you would know

• Practice reading it aloud to ensure it feels authentic when spoken

When used this way, AI functions as a collaborative writing partner rather than a replacement for your voice.

The Hypocrisy of "Authentic Expression"

Here's an uncomfortable truth: when asked, most wedding guests prefer eloquent, structured vows over rambling, if sincere, ones. We claim to value authenticity above all, but what we often reward is conformity to certain expressive norms.

If we truly value the meaning behind the words, shouldn't we embrace tools that help people express themselves with the eloquence their emotions deserve? Isn't it more honest to seek assistance than to struggle silently, possibly producing something that doesn't adequately capture what's in your heart?

Reimagining Wedding Traditions

The beauty of modern weddings is our ability to remake traditions to serve the couple, not the other way around. AI assistance in crafting vows and speeches is simply another way we can adapt ceremonies to be more inclusive and less stressful.

What matters in a wedding is not adherence to arbitrary rules about who wrote what words, but the authentic commitment between two people. If AI helps someone overcome writer's block or anxiety to express their genuine feelings more eloquently, isn't that a tool for greater authenticity rather than less?

In the end, the words you speak at your wedding are yours because they represent your promises and your love, regardless of whether you had help polishing their presentation. The commitment is what makes vows meaningful, not the writing process that produced them.